XX marks the spot

More attention to detail is required at this cataloguer, whose most recent mailer included the following customer notice on the front cover:



To spare its blushes, the company that produced this catalogue will remain nameless. If this is your business, someone probably has a bit of explaining to do.—MT

Oh, you mean that "FU"

The two of us here at Catablogue e-business had differing reactions to the typographic logo on this page from the autumn Fashion Union catalogue. The more good-natured colleague thought it was meant to spell out "FUNNY", with the heart standing in for an "N". The misanthrope of the team (okay, that would be me) thought that Fashion Union was giving New York a two-finger salute, or as we say in New York, flipping the city the bird. Surely I'm not the only one who didn't immediately get that the "FU" was short for "Fashion Union" and not something far ruder.--SC

"A bit unique" is more than a bit annoying

A recent email from gifts etailer Cosmic Superstore certainly got our attention—but not in a good way. The subject line, “Something a bit unique”, sent a shudder of horror down our spine. Something cannot be “a bit” one-of-a-kind, any more than one thing can be “more perfect” than something else.

But that wasn’t our only gripe about the email. The illustration for the primary product being promoted, “the opportunity to include your name on a microchip on the Mars Science Laboratory rover heading to Mars in 2011”, was a rendering of a “certificate of participation” for a Harry Watkins, with Mr Watkins’ name in a bold red font. Who is this Harry Watkins? we wondered. Then we wondered why Cosmic Superstore had neglected to take advantage of this ideal opportunity to personalise the email by including each recipient’s name in lieu of Harry’s.--SC

Lost in translation

I gathered from the .de top-level domain of the website’s URL that Jessops’ photo-printing software originated in Germany. That’s no excuse for misspelling the word cancel though. And I looked it up—cancle isn’t a German word either. —MT

No way to treat a legend

In the January issue of Catalogue e-business I'd praised Derby House Saddlery for featuring Katie Price on the front cover of its autumn/winter catalogue but also chided the company for making it difficult to find her KP Equestrian range within the 226-page book.

With its latest email, Derby House again fails to treat the former Jordan with the respect she is due as both an equestrian and an entrepreneur: It misspells her name as "Katy".

Katie, are you going to put up with this? I extended this invitation before, but let me repeat it: If you ever want to speak with Catalogue e-business about any of your ventures, I promise to feature you on the front cover as well as prominently within the magazine. And I also promise to spell your name correctly.--SC

Back to school for Bert’s Nurseries

This gardening minilogue dropped with a recent mailer from one of the Littlewoods family of catalogues. We know little else about it.
We like its timeliness. It is obviously capitalising on the current renaissance in gardening and trying to extend Shop Direct’s reach into a new product sector. We don’t like its frivolous use of apostrophes, excruciating typos and poor grammar. Here are some of the mistakes we picked up, verbatim, whilst casually leafing through the catalogue’s 16 pages:

• Aloe Vera Known as the ‘medicine plant’ due to it’s healing powers


• Lysimacha is excellant for moist area’s and pondsides.


• Also known as “Heavenly bamboo’ this shrub is prized for it’s oriental effect and distinctive lacy foliage.


• Also known as “Juneberry’ this decidous shrub puts on a show for most of the year, stary white flowers bloom in dense clusters in strong contrast with the young coppery foliage in March, turning green in Summer it will be smothered in dark red edible berries.


• Ideal for in your Summer baskets or planters, these fine Fuchsia’s will flower all Summer.

As the copy is that bad, is it any wonder that Bert’s Nurseries “forgot” to add the web address to the footer of each page?—MT

Win some, lose (loose?) some

This promotional email from bedroom specialist Feather & Black first got our attention by tying in to neither Mother's Day nor Easter but instead to the changing of the clocks on Sunday. It may seem a novel occasion for a promotion, but for a bedding merchant it certainly makes sense; who among us doesn't mourn losing that hour of sleep, even though the result is additional daylight?

Unfortunately a few other aspects of the email caught our eye as well: I, for one, won't "loose an hours sleep"; I will, however, "lose an hour's sleep". I'll assume someone was a bit sleepy when proofreading the copy for the email.--SC

Say what?

I really wanted to include an item about the launch of Organikastores.co.uk as part of today's Catalogue e-business News Roundup. But I couldn't, because the press release was impenetrable.

The first sentence of the release, verbatim: "Becky Hawksworth, Founder of The Organika group announed the groups launch of it's first interactive website www.organikastores.co.uk." That's cut-and-pasted directly from the release--I did not introduce any of the typos.

Just as damning as the illiteracy of the prose is the lack of information. Who or what is the Organika Group? Does it have stores? Did it exist prior to the launch of this website?

Then, near the end of the release (again, cut-and-pasted directly from the document itself): "In the next coupleof weeks Organikas' other complimentary web stores will be 'live'

"Ethical Fashion has moved to http://www.ethicool-fashion.com/

"Cosmetics is at http://www.organikacosmetica.com/

"and the largest selection of Organic Wines in the WORLD!! at http://www.taylors-winewarehouse.com/".

Are these new businesses? Existing entities with a bricks-and-mortar presence?

Sorry if this seems harsh. But if your press release isn't going to release to the press the basic information they need--who, what, where, when--in an easily understandable format, then the time and money spent on it is simply wasted, my friend.--SC